Thursday, November 6, 2008

TAOJP: Volume 1

Johnny Phenomenal in...

Crash Landing
Johnny Phenomenal returned to Cyrus Twelve strapped to a silver torpedo. A torpedo is a long, oval-shaped missile filled with explosives and is generally used for the destruction of larger objects. Therefore, Johnny Phenomenal should have died upon impact - but there was no impact. Being Johnny Phenomenal, Johnny phenomenally broke free of the straps holding him down and eased the vessel a few feet above the ground long enough to disembark safely from the phallic craft. The word phallic refers to any one thing resembling a phallus. A phallus is any one thing symbolizing a penis. A penis, of course, is a long (sometimes), oval-shaped (usually) missile which hangs comfortably (preferrably) between a man's legs and is used for the destruction and/or pleasure of larger objects. Like the torpedo, it is also filled with explosives.
Johnny pressed a red plastic button on his belt and watched the torpedo speed away to a distant crash. Janet Ultimatum rushed out of Spherics to greet him. Spherics is a popular hang-out for the teenagers of Cyrus Twelve. Johnny Phenomenal liked what he saw when he saw Janet Ultimatum.
To be continued...
Next time, Johnny answers the big questions in: “Are You There, God? It’s Me…JOHNNY PHENOMENAL!”

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